Saturday, July 4, 2009

America's Birthday Special

America is now 233 years old, and still doesn't have a driver's license. (Ha ha, thanks for that joke, Mr. Brenaman.) The usual celebration is to eat a big picnic lunch outdoors, and at nightfall, shoot off a metric crap load of fireworks.
I say today we pool our fireworks and launch them all at once from a thousand-tube launcher in each city. The resulting display will explode with enough intensity to bring the illusion of daylight, and we can, if we operate in shifts, operate until dawn. Also, Canada and Mexico will tell us to get off their collective lawns, damn kids, which will be hilarious.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...