On Employment

I, the Mad Engineer, am looking for work. Employers, meanwhile, are very nervous about bloggers. Some have seriously disrupted company-customer relationships, by doing things like posting snark about the customers, posting pictures of themselves drunk (which customers feel reflects badly on the company,) and revealing the inner workings of companies, often unflatteringly.
I promise, if employed, the following principles to my employer:
1. This blog represents my own opinion, not that of my employer. Should my employer wish to express their own opinion, I can create a blog for them. Or a twitter, facebook, or whatever other media. It will be under their name, not mine. The employer's official blog will represent their opinion, not mine, even if I am tasked with writing it. I may take on a second writer in the future, in which case this blog would represent the opinions of their respective authors, not their respective employers.
2. I will assume that, by default, all activities at work are confidential. That new widget or program that you're paying me to design? Top secret. What the customer ordered? Also top secret.
3. I will not discuss my employment unless told otherwise. Not even "I work for so-and-so company."
4. That if an incident is told to the public, by your order, that all names be changed to arbitrary ones to protect everyone's identities if it makes sense to do so. It makes sense to do so if any party could be made to look bad in any way. It does not make sense when all parties involved benefit from having their names told.
5. My lack of use of my real name will provide you with plausible deniability should anyone complain about any content of this blog.
6. I will not badmouth you. Besides being biting the hand that feeds me, it wouldn't fit the tone of this blog.
7. In the unlikely event that you wish some sort of official association with this blog, I can switch to my real name. I feel this is unlikely because I would insist on editorial freedom.
8. This blog is not about my personal life. If I should get massively drunk on the weekend, you will never know. I will keep water-cooler knee-slappers to myself.
9. I would be willing to "plug" (ie: endorse) you as an employer. You would have to specifically allow me to discuss my employment with you, of course.
10. I will provide a resume on demand. If you got it from here, you may use any part of this blog as a writing sample. Resumes provided from this blog will be stripped of my real name, relying on the official email for contact.
11. I will not snark upon the customers in public. There's enough of that on the internet as it is.
12. Work is higher priority than this blog.