Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Simulation Systems, Tests, and Your Employment (Part 3)

So with some nerdy introspection, I think everyone can find the perfect job, as I described in the last two sessions. Let's do some more.

Requirements: Moderate Intelligence, Moderate Charisma, High Finger Dexterity, Known moral prohibition against stealing

Cashiers take people's money in exchange for the good or service. One has to accurately count money quickly, and not offend your patron too badly. It is also important to your employer to know that you will not take the money in the register, or overcharge the client to pad your own pocket.

Card Dealer
Requirements: Really high finger dexterity, Acceptable Charisma

Casinos need lots of these for all their card tables. The slicker and craftier you are with your cards, the better.

Requirements: High-ish finger and arm dexterity, excellent hygine, artistic talent on the higher end

People like food. People like their food well prepared. People who pay lots of money for food expect it to be artistic also. People don't like contaminated food.

Collections Agent
Requirements: High-ish strength, Moderate Charisma, Moderate Wisdom, Chaotic alignment

When people don't pay for the things they use, such as a credit default, bounced checks, and so on, collections has to take their things back. And since your subject would prefer to keep the goods without paying for them, you must, in essence, steal them back. Yes, this is legal, provided that one can prove the debt of your subject and his or her non-payment. Wanting to steal falls under the "Chaotic" alignments of D&D, so one must be that way. Although being organized doesn't fall under "Chaotic" but that trait also helps.

Requirements: High Intelligence, High Wisdom, Exceptional literacy, High Charisma, ideally lawful evil alignment, Moderate Constitution (you will spend much of the day standing)

Lawyers must be well organized, well prepared, have several dictionaries worth of text memorized, convincing, and will often be expected to argue things that they know aren't true. The willingness to take on these kinds of positions are in super-high demand, as the criminal justice field grows (all suspects are entitled to a proper defense under American law), as well as corporate clients who have their own...interests...to promote. (This willingness to fight for known untrue positions falls under the "evil" side of D&D's morality axis, since a "good" person would insist on the truth in all cases. Few people would want to hire a "good" lawyer, as they'd throw the case at the first sign of trouble.) Lawyers are well despised, but only by people who don't need one. Those who do definitely appreciate theirs. Lastly, lawyers often make huge amounts of money, which makes the populace at large hate them even more out of envy.

Requirements: High Intelligence, High Wisdom, Memorization of Case Law, Loud speaking voice, probably being a lawyer first, ideally lawful neutral.
Judges mediate courtroom actions. In some jurisdictions, they're appointed by the elected government, in others they are elected by the people. In any case, when lawyers disagree on the facts, they must intervene based on past case law.
Judging is high profile, but your powers aren't actually all that great. Any decision you make can be overturned, and if you make your decisions corruptly, firing is the best you can hope for. The worst involves jail time.

Requirements: High-ish intelligence, Very high Wisdom, High constitution, high arm and finger dexterity, moderate strength

A paleontologist is a scientist of fossils and old artifacts. They must locate them with, possibly with a geologist's help, dig them up, being very careful not to damage the fossils, which could easily be confused with the rest of the rock they're digging through, and take careful notes about what was found, where it was found, what was dug through,and how deep they had to dig.
Paleontologists share their findings with other scientists to make conclusions about what they found, such as nuclear scientists to perform carbon dating, geologists to learn about the earth conditions that preserved the item, and museums who publicize the work.

Requirements: Significant strength, Moderate constitution, Acceptable Wisdom, Enough dexterity as to not hit yourself in the foot

As long as there is wood, there will be people wanting it arranged into structures, like houses, gazebos and so on.

Requirements: High strength, resistance to seasickness

People like eating fish. Go get them some.

Requirements: High strength, moderate dexterity, not claustrophobic

Lots of goods come from underground rocks. If you can dig them up, give us a call.

Requirements: High strength, moderate dexterity, moderate charisma, organizational skills

When people die, they want to hold a proper funeral. This is where Undertakers come in. They have to dig the grave, make it look nice, prepare the props of a funeral, and make sure that only one family has a funeral at one time, because it's very awkward for everyone involved when they clash. Also, it's bad for business not to properly express your condolences, but it's worse still for business to express your condolences in a creepy way. Better not put your foot in your mouth here, champ.

Pet Caretaker
Requirements: High Constitution, Affinity for animals, Reasonable dexterity

Pets need various degrees of care. Dogs need to be walked. Cats need to have the litterbox changed before they decide that the sock drawer is a better option. Birds need outside play time. Rabbits need assurance. All of the above need food, water, and cleaning up. Sometimes a pet's human owners need to leave the pet alone, such as for a business trip. The pet is sad, and would be in trouble if not for you.

Jobs here are usually specialized per species, like dog walker, cat cleaner, rabbit caretaker and so on.

You know what, I think there'll be a part four. If all the Dirty Jobs I've been watching is any indication, it's that one can earn a living doing the darnedest things. You can even earn a living watching television, but there's a catch.

No, you probably won't earn a living blogging.

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