Thursday, September 30, 2010

Back to Analytics

When I reviewed the site analytics, I saw something tragic:

how to get girlfriend back

This poor unfortunate soul. Girlfriend's gone, heart's broken, and wants her back at all costs.
I don't know the entire situation, but she's probably gone forever. When people break up, that's usually the end of that relationship. I would advise, if this person asked, to get a new girlfriend. The earth has 6,900,000,000 people, and at least 3,500,000,000 of them are female. at least one of them would almost assuredly want a relationship with you.
If you really want to pursue reversing your breakup, you face a very uphill battle. You must remove the condition that made her leave you in the first place. Which requires you to first figure out what that was, which may lead to some very painful introspection. Did she disapprove of some habit (which you will now need to quit at all costs), dislike your lifestyle (which you must totally change), or was it something else? If there's a new person in her life, you will need to displace them, by being that much better than he (or she) is.
I don't guarantee success. Even if you changed everything, sometimes she's just tired of your face (or something else you can't help).
(Also, how did that lead to me?)

Other searches were more...prosaic:

2088 olympics and pollution

I predict that the 2088 Olympics will be held in a city of some kind. (Well, obviously, Sherlock!) It will be a summer Olympics by schedule. The city hosting it will face the paradox that faces all Olympic hosts: to develop the infrastructure that the Olympics requires, typically attracts industries that pollute like crazy, but the athletes at the competition expect a pollution free city to exercise in. What's a city to do?
Probably some sort of clean-up project, sane or insane.

engineering a ditch

Depending on the scale, what you want is a "shovel" or a "backhoe." Very big holes can also involve "explosives." The smaller tools are preferable for smaller ditches because there are fewer ways to accidentally injure yourself with them.

materialism computer science

Materialism is the philosophy that only the physical universe exists (or is important). Computer science is the field of study of storing and manipulating information. Materialist philosophers would point out that there is a physical basis to the information represented. In a computer's case, the software is a pattern of electricity in the processor or memory, and stored as a pattern of magnetic fields on the disk when not in use. So, no problems there.

And now, team WTF, the confusing ones:

electrical sex

You won't find that here, if at all.

diaper change simulation

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