When the Chernobyl nuclear plant near Pirpyat, in what is now the Ukraine, melted down in 1986, it was a worldwide disaster. Radiation spread as far away as Kansas, and Pirpyat is now massively radioactive, and judged uninhabitable. A few very stubborn people live there, and made an incredible discovery. A type of yeast there developed the ability to eat gamma radiation. As food. This species of yeast is also universally found in pigeon feces.
Gamma radiation is the lowest-mass type of radiation produced from radioactive decay. It takes several feet of lead to stop it due to its high energy,and it's absolutely hazardous to human health in the same way as touching a red hot stove would be. Also, outer space is absolutely full of it, which is a hazard to would-be space travelers.
These two facts can be combined to form two mad inventions, and I'm not sure which one is crazier.
One, we can clean up radioactive spills by spreading bread all over the affected area and then releasing some pigeons, which can easily be caught in most major cities in North America and Europe. When these pigeons poop all over the place, the yeast will get right to work eating up all the radiation, making the area inhabitable years sooner than it would otherwise.
Two, we can keep a thin layer of pigeon poop in the outer hull of space going vehicles. In the depths of space, the yeasts will absolutely feast on the radiation, and only very little would reach the astronauts. Space travel would be lighter, cheaper, and safer.
Showing posts with label Gross. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gross. Show all posts
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Nasal
I hate waking up with a runny nose. Should invent something to deal with it.
I'm thinking gentle vacuum with tiny hose. Kind of like a reverse Neti-pot, or something like that.
I'm thinking gentle vacuum with tiny hose. Kind of like a reverse Neti-pot, or something like that.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Your toilet is now your gas tank
The words "Hydrogen Economy" have been banted around for years now by journalists enjoying the idea of replacing existing fuels with hydrogen gas, because the product of burning it is water. Perfectly clean water. No carbon dioxide. No noxious smoke. Just water.
Okay, but the planet earth doesn't have hydrogen spewing out of the ground. All our hydrogen is locked up in more complicated molecules, which are more stable than the gas itself. Rending them apart would cost energy, not release it. So hydrogen is more a store of energy than a source. Energy journalists sulk for a bit before looking again at solar panels and sighing wistfully.
Then, a week ago, a scientist found a more efficient, if infinitely grosser source. Pee. Human urine's urea and other dissolved acids produce hydrogen with a quarter the voltage required to break down pure water, if a nickel electrode is used. The waste products of this are nitrogen gas and potassium carbonate (aka "Pearl Ash"), both harmless to the environment and other humans.
This is not only useful as an energy source. Raw sewage is a major threat to the health of everything in its vicinity. Bacterial breakdown often includes toxic amounts of ammonia, poisonous nitrogen-based compounds, and horrible horrible smells. Anyone or anything breathing this becomes terribly sick. In addition, the waste products of this are industrially useful. Especially the phosphorus, whose deposits in nature are becoming rarer and more scattered as industry and agriculture demand more and more tons of it.
Of course, this leaves me with the silly thought of driving about, noticing I'm low on fuel, and stopping in for a big gulp and a curtain to fill up. Or a drunken frat boy peeing in my gas tank as revenge for a perceived slight, and me appreciating the free fuel instead. And the most ridiculous part would be soap and glass companies sweeping the streets of pearl ash, which falls out of the exhaust pipe of these cars.
Actually the inevitable jokes are probably worse than any of the real consequences. At least trucker bombs are a thing of the past.
Okay, but the planet earth doesn't have hydrogen spewing out of the ground. All our hydrogen is locked up in more complicated molecules, which are more stable than the gas itself. Rending them apart would cost energy, not release it. So hydrogen is more a store of energy than a source. Energy journalists sulk for a bit before looking again at solar panels and sighing wistfully.
Then, a week ago, a scientist found a more efficient, if infinitely grosser source. Pee. Human urine's urea and other dissolved acids produce hydrogen with a quarter the voltage required to break down pure water, if a nickel electrode is used. The waste products of this are nitrogen gas and potassium carbonate (aka "Pearl Ash"), both harmless to the environment and other humans.
This is not only useful as an energy source. Raw sewage is a major threat to the health of everything in its vicinity. Bacterial breakdown often includes toxic amounts of ammonia, poisonous nitrogen-based compounds, and horrible horrible smells. Anyone or anything breathing this becomes terribly sick. In addition, the waste products of this are industrially useful. Especially the phosphorus, whose deposits in nature are becoming rarer and more scattered as industry and agriculture demand more and more tons of it.
Of course, this leaves me with the silly thought of driving about, noticing I'm low on fuel, and stopping in for a big gulp and a curtain to fill up. Or a drunken frat boy peeing in my gas tank as revenge for a perceived slight, and me appreciating the free fuel instead. And the most ridiculous part would be soap and glass companies sweeping the streets of pearl ash, which falls out of the exhaust pipe of these cars.
Actually the inevitable jokes are probably worse than any of the real consequences. At least trucker bombs are a thing of the past.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Managing Trucker Bombs
Many municipalities are claiming a problem with what they call, euphemistically, "trucker bombs." No, it's not a terrorist threat, merely kind of gross. "Trucker bombs" are milk jugs full of pee, tossed to the side of the road so that the truck doesn't have to stop.
Now the easiest solution to this would be to collect them, empty them into a toilet, and flush. Of course, few people want to do this without at least a pair of disposable latex gloves and a nine hour shower afterwards to remove the dirty feeling. So the communities would like to identify the trucker responsible and punish him (truckers doing this are almost always male, guess why?) so that he doesn't do it again.
Two things are against DNA testing here. First, the jugs are not discovered for a while, and DNA tends to deteriorate when left outside a human body. Secondly, urine does not contain DNA, unless it brings with it epithelial cells, and the DNA is entirely confined to those cells. Truckers are unlikely to pee out these cells, as this only happens with people who have certain urological diseases. So chemical tests won't discover the identity of the culprit unless picked up immediately, while still warm. Ick.
If you combined my previous idea of uibiquitous internet, and motion-activated cameras, you could have it snap pictures of the vehicles of everyone who throws something out their window, but that wouldn't stop it immediately. What to do about these nasty jugs?
I propose robotic collection. Every few days, the robot is sent out to the highway, and picks up all white or yellow objects and puts them in a bin that it carries on its back.
And while it could be flushed, there's a better thing that could be done: Urine is rich in nitrogen, and would make an excellent fertilizer if watered down. So a field of crops could be watered from beneath with pipes fed from a water tank, which has a trucker bomb emptied into it once per emptying. A typical farm would consume 147 trucker bombs per day. Plants are thirsty.
147 trucker bombs tends to be the entire production of the Halifax area.
Now the easiest solution to this would be to collect them, empty them into a toilet, and flush. Of course, few people want to do this without at least a pair of disposable latex gloves and a nine hour shower afterwards to remove the dirty feeling. So the communities would like to identify the trucker responsible and punish him (truckers doing this are almost always male, guess why?) so that he doesn't do it again.
Two things are against DNA testing here. First, the jugs are not discovered for a while, and DNA tends to deteriorate when left outside a human body. Secondly, urine does not contain DNA, unless it brings with it epithelial cells, and the DNA is entirely confined to those cells. Truckers are unlikely to pee out these cells, as this only happens with people who have certain urological diseases. So chemical tests won't discover the identity of the culprit unless picked up immediately, while still warm. Ick.
If you combined my previous idea of uibiquitous internet, and motion-activated cameras, you could have it snap pictures of the vehicles of everyone who throws something out their window, but that wouldn't stop it immediately. What to do about these nasty jugs?
I propose robotic collection. Every few days, the robot is sent out to the highway, and picks up all white or yellow objects and puts them in a bin that it carries on its back.
And while it could be flushed, there's a better thing that could be done: Urine is rich in nitrogen, and would make an excellent fertilizer if watered down. So a field of crops could be watered from beneath with pipes fed from a water tank, which has a trucker bomb emptied into it once per emptying. A typical farm would consume 147 trucker bombs per day. Plants are thirsty.
147 trucker bombs tends to be the entire production of the Halifax area.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Pork Waste Managerment
Eastern North Carolina is drowning in pig waste. Around many pig farms are big, smelly lagoons filled with all kinds of biological horrors produced by the pigs. The waste is rich in both nitrogen and bacteria, smells awful, and if anyone falls into the waste, they slowly sink until beneath the surface and suffocate. Pulling them out is literally futile, and anyone who tries will likely suffer the same fate.
The lagoons are sealed with plastic wrap at the bottom, but some of the wrap has ruptured from contact with a rock. As a result, the trees in the area are neon green from the nitrogen. Plants are over fertilized, and the bad smell prevents the locals from enjoying food.
Though my first thought was a Below ground methane digester, it seems a waste to lose the nitrogen like that. Crop farmers are paying big bucks to nitrogen-ize the crop soil, while over here the soil is over-nitrogen-ized. Since the waste is liquid enough to flow, slowly, downhill, this could be used to transport the waste, if the receiving farm has a solar-powered lifting device.
That or the local towns could replace themselves with robotically harvested cotton and tobacco farms, both of which demand quite a lot of nitrogen fertilization.
The lagoons are sealed with plastic wrap at the bottom, but some of the wrap has ruptured from contact with a rock. As a result, the trees in the area are neon green from the nitrogen. Plants are over fertilized, and the bad smell prevents the locals from enjoying food.
Though my first thought was a Below ground methane digester, it seems a waste to lose the nitrogen like that. Crop farmers are paying big bucks to nitrogen-ize the crop soil, while over here the soil is over-nitrogen-ized. Since the waste is liquid enough to flow, slowly, downhill, this could be used to transport the waste, if the receiving farm has a solar-powered lifting device.
That or the local towns could replace themselves with robotically harvested cotton and tobacco farms, both of which demand quite a lot of nitrogen fertilization.
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